Friday, April 30, 2010

He is first!

You know what I love? When God speaks to you through a thought, a scripture, or just a simple word. Especially when you are not expecting it. Well, I was thinking about a dream I had last night, when this scripture came through.

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

There were some things that had crept into my mind lately and as I thought about this scripture, I began to realize He was speaking a promise to me. I had been focusing on Him alot lately and just within these last few days, my mind has started to become distracted. There are times when we start to take our focus off Him and our mind starts racing with all sorts of things. Then we start to think of ways we can go about getting what we desire on our own. No, no, no, no , no.... How many mistakes have been made when I tried to do things on my own? I really don't want to think about that!

Thank God, He reminded me in a peaceful way. Thank you Jesus. My prayer is that You continue to guide me, shape me, mold me and get me where You want me to be. Not because of anything I may want, but because I love you and You love me. 

I say thank you to those who read these posts. I am very thankful for what God has placed within me and I am thankful that He chose me to do His work. It's not an easy road and He never said it would be. But I am still ever so thankful.

God Bless!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

His Power.......

Psalm 46 "1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. 4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. 5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early. 6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted. 7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah. 8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth. 9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire. 10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. 11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah."

Hmmmm.....The sitaution with my son is still going on. When I thought about it again, verse 10 stuck out the most. But I wanted to read what came before that verse. Once I did, I felt more at peace. It is always amazing to know the power of God. To have the ability to put calm in the midst of chaos.....that is simply amazing. We as humans can not seem to do this. Not on our own. We can keep trying and trying, but real calmness and peace only come from God.
This is more of a meditation day. Just sitting and being amazed at what He is capable of doing....His power.....but also to reflect on His gentleness, caring, and loving for all of us....even when we mess up.....
I will trust you Lord, no matter how things turn out. You have ordered my steps and You know what's best for me. I will trust you.....I will be still and know that you are God....
God Bless!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

All around

Hebrews 3:13 "3But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." (NIV)

Wow.....there are so many things going on with people. It's not good. For the past 3 days, I have watched as trials and tribulations mounted on those around me. Especially those whom I love. It's heartbreaking to see this. Why does is seem like those who follow God have it the hardest? 

I have been involved with some serious group praying for these 3 days. Which is why the above scripture spoke to me. I know in the things we all go through, we are to go to God with them. We are to cling and lean on God. Not on our own understanding. But even though this is what we do, we still need others around to help us as well. A support system, if you will. Those to be there when we just can't seem to make it. When we struggle to even form words out of our mouths. God is already there. He knows what we say or think even before we do. 

I look at the reason we are going through what we are going through and know it is because we are His chosen. He chose us and therefore it starts the process of making us like Him. No way is any of it easy. There are times when we think we can't go on, that we can't make it. But God gets us through it. As I watch others around me, I see that what they are going through, I have been through. I know exactly how they are feeling. I know their pain....their fear....but I also know that God will help them through it. Because He helped me. As long as we grab, grasp, seek, search....for Him, He will, in due time, give us that peace that surpasses all understanding. 

My heart feels so heavy. I feel so deeply for them. I wish they didn't have to go through what they are going through, but then if they didn't how else would they draw closer to God?

Psalm 147:3 "3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I know this because He did this for me. My prayer is for all those who are hurting. Physically, mentally, spiritually.......that God will heal them. He will do it....... Just trust and believe....He will do it.

God Bless!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Mighty, mighty, move.....

Deuteronomy 3:24 "O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?

What can I say? God is awesome! This weekend was......I don't even know the correct words to say. It didn't start off great at all. Some issues going on with my 14yr old that really disappointed me. But through this weekend, God opened my eyes to somethings and at the end of this weekend, the joy I felt in the Lord surpassed anything I could comprehend! The above scripture seems so perfect for this. 

The situation with my son is not over, however, I am at peace anyway. I was baptized on Saturday as a re-dedication to my Lord and the blessings (nothing material) have just been pouring in. God knows how serious I am. Raising two boys alone is not an easy task. Especially when they hit those teenage years. This year has not been the greatest for my 14yr old. I have constantly been on him to show responsibility, improve his grades, and just over all to grow up. I feel he's no longer really a kid that should lack responsibility. He's growing into a man, start getting it together. 

I have been spending more time with my family lately and that is a blessing within itself. We had been apart for a specific reason, but God has moved us back closer to each other. My sons usually go over their dad's on the weekend. Well, I had mentioned a birthday party for my cousin (he turned 10 yrs old) to my ex and told him I would tell him the details yesterday. Well, Sat I called to have him drop the boys off and he told me since I hadn't got back to him with information ( I was only going to tell him the time) and he asked my son (my son told him the party was he said...I don't know that for a fact and I didn't ask). Whatever the case, he and the boys were giving me a hard time about coming. I started to get upset, then God turned it around. I dropped the issue. My ex ended up dropping them off at my cousin's house. We had a great time. My aunt is going through some issues and we all surrounded her, laid hands on her , and prayed over her. To my astonishment, my 14 yrs said a beautiful prayer over my aunt. It came from the heart. He made me cry. I walked over to him afteward, wrapped my arms around him, hugged him, kissed him, and told him I loved him and was very proud of what he just did. "CLICK" 
Things changed in that moment. Both the boys wanted to stay longer and when i finally dropped them back with their dad, my 14 yr old asked to come over my cousin's house again the next day. God opened my eyes in that second. He made me realize that I had been hard on my son this year and oh, by the way, when was the last time I had something positive to say to my son?  It takes but a second sometimes, when you are more in tune with God. We spent more time with family the next day. Last night, my oldest son usually just says goodnight, love you, and off to bed he goes. This time he said those things but came over, hugged me and kissed me as well.
The overwhelming joy I felt because of my baptisim, of what God revealed to me about me, and the time spent with my family......was awesome.
(By the way, Sat night I went home and listened to gospel music. I ended up staying up till 3 am and was dancing around and laughing because of the joy the Lord gave me....Thank God there was no one there but me...I felt awful silly at the time!)
God is so good and I just want to hold onto this feeling forever! Awesome, awesome, awesome!

God Bless!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Our Foundation

Matthew 7:24:27 24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

As I was reading my bible, this scripture stuck out to me. Well, in particular these words "yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock"  It made me think about the times I have fallen. It is something that happens even to those who follow God. It's not that we do this on purpose, it's just we are human and were born into sin. Seems like we spend the rest of our lives trying not to fall. But it will still happen because we are not Jesus. As long as we strive to read His word and develop our relationship with Him, one day we will be able to stand and not fall at all. At least that is my prayer. To one day be able to say I was able to stand and stand tall and not fall at all......would be great.  Is that too much to ask for? Is it possible? Anything is possible with Jesus.....

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ask, Seek, Knock

I woke up with this scripture on my mind:
Matthew 7:7 (but I want to include v8 as well) "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "

There is so much emotionally going on with me. It feels as if the enemy is really trying to put me down. The weight is so heavy. Almost all day yesterday, everytime I thought of something, I could feel myself starting to cry. Retelling feelings to a friend, my eyes welled up with tears. Then later talking to my Spiritual Coach, I cried. I couldn't even hold it in anymore. There are times when following God's way gets tough. But we are supposed to stand and understand that God is always there for us. We are to confide in Him. The advice given to me was to 'talk' to God about my deep feelings. My really deep feelings. I did and cried some more. I hear crying is supposed to be good for us. Most of the time I will not agree about that. When my eyes are swollen and my head hurts...that does not feel good. But because of the release last night, I woke up better. It is a brand new day. He has given me another chance to do things right.

So during my talk, I was told to release what I needed to release to God and to ask Him to help me. I had not lately truly asked God for anything. I had just been keeping things inside. That does me no good.  I asked God for peace last night. I asked Him for release from situations. I asked Him for help in situations. I aksed Him how I could help others when I felt so......uuuggghhhh! I felt helpless......Utterly helpless....

Today, I awoke with peace. He granted me that. He will help me with everything else as well. I just need to be patient and trusting. I asked and He granted. I will continue to seek His face, because going backwards is not an option. Whatever doors I come across....."God can I go in?"...if not keep it moving until He opens the one for me. I thank God for the people He has allowed to come into my life to help me. But most of all I thank God for being with me. Because nobody can do you like Jesus!!

God Bless! 

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Deuteronomy 8:5-10 "5 Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good. 6 “So obey the commands of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and fearing him. 7 For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land of flowing streams and pools of water, with fountains and springs that gush out in the valleys and hills. 8 It is a land of wheat and barley; of grapevines, fig trees, and pomegranates; of olive oil and honey. 9 It is a land where food is plentiful and nothing is lacking. It is a land where iron is as common as stone, and copper is abundant in the hills. 10 When you have eaten your fill, be sure to praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you."

 What wonderful day I had yesterday. Spent alot of time with my family and enjoyed it sooo much. We talked the whole day. It's amazing how much people can talk. No TV, no other distractions. Just good food and talk. It was wonderful. Our conversation ranged from life, death, singleness....It was good. 

Anyway, My cousin read the above scripture to me because our conversation happened upon the promises of God. His promises are in the bible and we are to believe and trust that what He promises will come to pass. In His time. I mentioned to her that I had either read or heard somewhere that His promises are not necessarily fulfilled while we are here on earth. I mentioned there are some in the bible who died without ever seeing their promise. Now I do not know the bible inside and out, and I only say things based on what I have read. Which is why I thoroughly enjoy having spiritual conversations with those who have been in the bible longer. No matter what, I will still read for myself. Never just accept the words out of someone's mouth just because they say it's in the bible. See for yourself...always! ( That's what I have learned)

Anyway, she then proceeded to open her bible and read the above scripture to me. God promises so much to us and what He asks in return is that we believe and follow Him.  He wants us to be happy, He wants the best for us (which is sometimes in direct opposite of what we want) Just like our parents. I tell my children so much the reason I do things is because I love them and want the best for them. Not always do they understand or are happy with the decision, but in the long run, it is for their good. I have to keep remembering this of my Heavenly Father as well. So when I get a little down because something was not given or something is being delayed, I have to remember, God wants to give me the desires of my heart, but I need to keep my faith in Him and obey His ways. 

Roman 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

God Bless!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Giving up a spirit

Matthew 27:50-51 "50And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.  51At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split."

 This scripture came to mind today. My thoughts are that we have all types of spirits in us. Some good, some bad. There are things in our lives that we want to give up and struggle to do so. We get to a point where we get so tired of our struggle to give it up. At a particular moment today, I finally gave up on something. I just gave up. All I could think was "It is finished" which led to that particular scripture speaking of Jesus crying out and giving up His spirit. Then of course we know what happened next.
Maybe I shouldn't have thought of that at that particular time, but sometimes I can not control what pops into my mind. But of course when it comes to scripture popping up, there is always a reason....isn't there?

Someone told me.... 'but when we yield up the ghost as Christ did.. when we say it's finished, then what we are giving up is the flesh.... it's the death of our flesh!!!'
No matter what the situation was that allowed that scripture to be thought of, it's a movement closer to God. Death of my flesh. Hmmmmm...... 
I don't know what else to say about it. Lord, keep changing me.

Be Blessed

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Philippians 2:3-11 "3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

I read this scripture as part of my devotional. It definitaley touched me. Especially v3-v4. What came to mind was a statement I heard someone say......'you do for me, I do for you' .
So that's their concept. That's their motto they go by. And that really sucks! But what else would I expect coming from a selfish person. Whatever happened to people doing something for someone because they wanted to? Has this society become so selfish that it figures the only way to be happy is to be selfish? Well, understanding that we are always hearing, look out for you, or it's all about you........
But the main reason alot of people do things for others is to get something out of it for themselves. I admit, there are times when you can be selfish...these times are not at the expense of someone else though. There are times where I find it hard to continue to do for someone 1. who doesn't appreciate what you do or 2.because of what they say, it pushes me not to want to do for them. That's hard to deal with. I want to walk God's way, but Lord some people!!!!

So I have to lean on the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made for me. Unselfish sacrifice......Not many people have that within them. So what are we going to do? Continue to live our lives selfishly? Or are we going to choose to do better and do things for others unselfishly? Our reward is that it was done for the the glory of God. (For some people, that doesn't seem to be enough) I continue to pray that I will keep in my mind to be unselfish even to those who I feel don't deserve it....because guess what.....did we deserve Jesus' unselfish act? Just something to ponder on today....

God Bless

Monday, April 12, 2010

What a day!

I still am not used to how one minute things seem to be ok, then the next.....uugghhh!!!! Had a great weekend. Church was great. Got my personal message from Him. Then spent time with family. Loved it. Truly loved it. Since the changing of my position at work, I am ok on Monday mornings. Work was busy enough for the day to go by quickly. My children are not with me on the weekends, they usually go with their dad. well last weekend he went to LA so the boys stayed with me. No usual weekend break. A little tiring and since their dad seems to spent alot of money on them on the weekend, they thought I would be doing this too. No. Not happening. Some kids these days are not like we were when we were younger. Instead of picking up a book to entertain themselves, it's either video games or 'spend some money on me to make me happy'....Ok so a little frustration has set in.

The boys report card came in over the weekend and I am not pleased at all with my oldest son's grades. 3 F's. And all he keeps saying is he knows what he needs to do to bring the grades up. Well if you were doing what you were supposed to in the beginning, you wouldn't have to get to this point. I have come to a point where I am just about giving up regarding my oldest and his responsibility with anything. I am tired. I can't keep trying to explain it to him because he probably now looks at it like nagging. I'm tired of talking about it. It's not that I want perfect children but I'd like him to at least make more of an effort at responsibility since he is 14 yrs old. But I am stressing myself out about it.

Well, I had to sit back and relax myself. And a scripture my cousin sent to me came to mind......Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Well, how could she have known I was going to need that? She didn't, He did. Everything that has been frustrating me is only temporary. He knows what is needed and when it is needed. I just have to keep leaning on Him. Because He knows I am not strong enough to fix any of this on my own. Keep pushing towards Him. I can't lose with God. No matter how things may seem, I can not lose with God!

God Bless 

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Light

John 3:19-21
19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

I was listening to the bible being read on-line today. This passage stuck out. It goes back to a conversation I had with someone. They are really getting into conspiracy theories of the government. There are a few people I know who seem to have turned to this. Of these people, they no longer go to church but claim to love God. But their life styles do not always reflect.....ok let me not say that. Can you profess to love God but not follow His commandments? According to the bible studies I have been doing, no. 
Anyway, I like to listen to what people say, however I am not prone to believe everything. At lest 2 of the people I have talked to made a point when they said we believe what we are told. Alot of us do not take the time to read and search out things for ourselves. So that leaves alot of us clueless. 

Which brings me back to the conversation I was having with someone. Alot of people don't want to know the truth. If you know the truth, then they can no longer do what they know is wrong without a conscience. So if they stay naive, they can't be blamed, can they? What a way to live.

Never am I judging because I am not perfect. I only strive to live the way God wants me to. Don't always get it correct, but at least now I no longer beat myself up for my mistakes. I saw this sign this morning, "God loves you. No matter what you do" I really needed to hear that. It told me He loved me no matter what. It was not a statement giving me permission to do the things He doesn't want me to do because He'll always love me. It just lets me know that even when I make a mistake, He won't toss me to the side like an old shoe. I take each day as it comes and each situation as it comes and pray that in the end He will tell me "Well done my good and faithful servant".  After all He is the way, the truth, and the life!

God Bless!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Just be Patient....

Psalm 37:6-8 "6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;do not fret—it leads only to evil."

Boy did I have a long conversation with God this morning! I had a very nice weekend. Spent away from my home. Went to church and felt sooo much love! I love my church. I love the word of God coming from it. I love that I am there because of me and my wanting to get closer to God. He had a hand in it. This I know for sure.

Back to my weekend. Once I got home, the enemy just stormed my brain. It was awful. All I kept thinking about was what I didn't have. No new clothes, house in such a need of fixing....everywhere. Being a single mom becomes hard at times. Having to do so much on my own. There are times I really want to give up my house because I got a house that was shabbily repaired. ( To look at it, you really wouldn't see too much wrong. It's just as time goes on, that's when you see what's really going on with it!) Anyway, I was ranting to God about everything this morning on my way to work. I asked Him to help me get a grip because I was 'unable' (I refuse to say I can't anymore), to do it on my own. I had to keep asking this in the middle of my ranting. He heard my cry! In the middle of it all, I said "Why am I focused on what I don't have?"  Now we all know that really wasn't me. It was Him asking me. I needed to start focusing on what I did have.
So I started reciting what I was thankful for. Thankful for my job, my house....(oh that was a trying one to say thanks for....evey part of me wanted to say something negative, but He wouldn't allow it), my children and their health, my health......
Well, that got me to stop my ranting. Ok so my house needs fixing, make a list and get a plan. Ok, so I don't have a man, just be patient, maybe He feels its not time yet. Ok so I haven't been clothes shopping in awhile, at least you have clothes! I was good by the time I got to work.
I have got to get a grip on observing what others have and what I don't have. God knows what I need and when I need it. So I just need to be grateful for what I have and rest assured that He will supply all my needs. ( And some wants too!)  I just need to keep focusing on Him, doing what I am supposed to be doing and not be worried about anything else. Of course, a couple of scriptures come to mind and I will continue to say them when the enemy pokes its ugly head out.

Philippians 4:6-7 "6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:19 "19But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

God is so good!
God Bless!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Once was blind.....but now I see

"He totally blocks our sense of direction and
sometimes cuts off our supply so we will depend totally upon him to work our
own ability out of us."

Part of a devotional I was reading, and boy can I identify with this! It's really something to not know where you are going. I used to be afraid of that. There are times I still get a little nervous and anxious for direction.

Philippians 4:6  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

 The closer I get to God, the less afraid I am. There are different seasons we go through and apparently my season right now is learning how to totally depend upon God. See I told God sometime ago that I wanted to completely surrender myself to Him. I wasn't sure how to do it. But in this season, I am learning. I am leaning on God and trusting that where ever He leads me, I know it will be some where great.

After I told God about wanting to completely surrender to Him, I had a dream. It was about a bridge. It was an awesomely huge bridge. I was standing in front of it looking at it in total awe. The thing is, we all know bridges connect one to another, and they go across. In my dream, my bridge went straight up to the sky! I could only smile and I smile now as I think about it. He is answering my prayer. We are connecting. I am surrendering and know He is proud of that. Eventually, He will show me in which direction I will need to go and what I will need to do. Until then, I will continue to draw closer to Him and wait patiently as He is preparing me for my next season.

Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the LORD;Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!"