Saturday, January 16, 2010

Shattered glass

I haven't been blogging lately. Only because I have been going through things. Well today is no different, but I decided to 'feel' on a blog. Hasn't been a good week and this weekend has started off even worse. have you ever been in a spiritual struggle? well, that's where I am. Trying to follow God and seemingly doing not such a good job. I am in this place where do I want to cry? or Do I want to give up? Is any of it worth it? We are all so imperfect that it makes no sense. I happened upon this picture. A butterfly with glass wings. My mind goes to thinking that's what I feel like. My spiritual potential is there, however, I have glass wings. The wings are light enough to allow me to fly, but are so fragile, that one wrong thing could shatter them. How do glass wings get repaired? I have no idea. I'd like to know though. I'd really like to know. Enough for now.

Monday, January 11, 2010


Not feeling it today. Just not. Struggling with some things that I really don't want to struggle with. I don't want to deal with them at all. So either I will block them or supress them. Supression is not a good thing though. It produces pain for me in the form of headaches. Headaches that will last for 2-3 days or more sometimes depending on the amount of supression. Sick of some people and the way they act. Unfaithful people, people who don't know what they want but want to pull others into their mess. No I can't expect people to be like I am. I don't pull people into my messes. I deal with them and get advice on how to change it. Not pull people into it then screw them up because of it. Why do screwed up people feel the need to screw others up with them? Keep that to yourself. Or try to get help to fix it, but leave other people's lives out of it. Like I said, all people don't think the same way. I hope tomorrow will be much better. Blah!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I was driving in to work today, looked at this big bank of snow on the side of the road and thought about how I can't remember when the last time I actually had a good 'child-like' time in the snow. That's awful. Have I become so old that I really can't enjoy much 'child-like' things anymore? It would drive me crazy to bundle myself up and be outside with friends, in a snowball fight and get the snow down my shirt, or pants, or in my boots. Yeah, I'm old! Not really, just need to have more fun.

So then my mind wonders to this movie I watched the other day. "Snakes on a Plan". What on earth made Samuel Jackson agree to do this movie? That was one of the stupidest movies I have ever seen. Ok, I'm not goign to waste my time downing the movie.

Why is it that one day you could be in a great mood and then the next it's like, what happened? That's what I am trying to figure out today. Yesterday was cool, then I wake up today like, nnnnooooo! I 'd rather go back to bed and bury myself under my covers. Got to make that money! If my mind wonders off somewhere else again, which knowing me it will, I'll be back! (in the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger!)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ha! first time ever blogging! This ought to be interesting. Took me long enough to set it I am going to bed!  LOL
Will continue tomorrow to write about whatever I feel like writing.

Night all!