Fear

Oh my goodness! What an experience for myself and my boys to go through tonight. My son was looking for his computer cord. While upstairs I hear him calling in a loud, scared voice...'mom.....mom...' I run downstairs. He is standing there totally scared and wiping his hands all over his arms. "There was a spider, I think....it was huge....it got on the couch....mommy get it please!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now I have to say, one of my greatest fears are spiders. Oh my goodness.....it is not funny at all. I have left my children in the car because of a spider in the front with me. Yeah, I know that's not right but spiders are my biggest fear. While I understand my son's fear, he took his eyes off the spider and we did not know where it was! That's the worst! Spider in the house, whereabouts unknown......Uggghhhh!  The one good thing about my fear of spiders, is I can spot them even out the corner of my eye. At the top of the ceiling, this huge spider is crawling around. Oh so gross!!! I am keeping my eye on it and ask my son to come 'identify' it. My son flipped out! He refused profusely to even come in the room. He looked like he was having a meltdown right in front of my eyes. Yes, I was upset. He needed to let us know if this was indeed the same exact spider he had seen. But he wouldn't come in the room and actually ran upstairs! So I had to get rid of it by myself. I had no choice. I was not about to let it roam around the house....

Well, after the episode, it got me thinking about fear. Fear has the ability to incapacitate us so badly. It can keep us stuck in a place where we were never meant to be in the first place. It can also make us run away from things or people that need to be faced. So many different fears. Fear of what people think, fear of what people will say, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of the known.....Why do we fear so many things? When we fear, we give control to whatever our fear is. How do we combat our fear? By trusting in the Lord. Guess what He promised?

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

Whatever we face in life, it's good to know we have a loving God who will always be by our side. To help us overcome our fear. When I have fear that comes over me about something, my favorite verse to recite is Psalms 27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" 

I need to work on saying that when I see spiders, because the panic sets in so quickly! I pray that the spider I got rid of was the one my son saw. If not, there will be some sleepless nights ahead!!! LOL

God Bless!

This is only a test....

Genesis 22:1-3" ¹And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

 ²And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

 ³And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.⁴Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off. ⁵And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you."

Oh the tests we go through. I was down for a minute because a test came to me and I failed. Straight failed. I know we all fall, but I still have not dealt properly when I fall. I am completely hard on myself, as I have been told, and it makes for some seriously hard days. I repented and God has forgiven me, however I have a hard time forgiving myself. I feel like I have failed God. I was walking His way, focusing on Him, and feeling His joy. There were times when I was able to recognize the enemy, but there are still other areas where my sight on the enemy is fuzzy. I never underestimate what the enemy can do, I just am not as prepared as I would like to be in specific areas. Some tests I don't do well in because I don't let go. This is still a work in progress for me. It is not something that will change overnight due to the fact that it's been like this for a good majority of my life. I can't keep saying 'if only my upbringing was like this' because I can't go back. Everything had a meaning up until this point. If my life had of been different, I wouldn't be at this point. Where would I be? I don't know.

So at this point, all I can do is trust God in revealing things and changing things in me. There are times when this happens that God chooses to put you by yourself. To show you things, to teach you things, to reshape you. In these times you have to sacrifice things.  Possessions, people, etc.....which is sometimes hard, especially for those who have trouble letting go. The passage above was the beginning of a test for Abraham. In verse 5, Abraham left his group behind to obey God. (As my pastor said, "sometimes you have to leave things/people behind to worship God. Some people/things can distract your worship)

What I love about that passage, was the fact that Abraham obeyed God without question. Can you imagine how he must have felt to have to go and sacrifice the promise that God had given him? I wonder what thoughts were going through his mind. But all we can see is that he did what he was told. I can't imagine sacrificing my child, but there are other things in our lives that we feel are very important to us that we must sacrifice. It's a test. Of our obedience to God. Do we trust Him to keep His promises? Do we trust that He will give us back even more? We should, because He will. If only we give ourselves over to Him. He will change our whole world around....for our good.

God Bless!

My anchor

Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD, your God,  who takes hold of your right hand   and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

Everytime we get into some sort of situation or have an issue, we always seem to think that we can find a way to solve it on our own. How many times do we have to go through before we truly understand that we can't? Our strength in any situation is God. We are to have faith that God can and will see us through.

He tells us not to worry and not to fear. But what do we do? We panic and try everyway possible to get out of our situation. That's the trick of the enemy. Fear. Fear of the situation, fear of the the outcome. So instead of keeping our eyes on God, we put them on the situation. Once we do that, the enemy works even harder on us. Making us worry and doubt. Our human nature (flesh), starts to figure out ways to solve our problems or we look to others (friends or family) to give us the solution.

Thank goodness we have an awesome God who is there for us. He is our shelter in the time of a storm. He is our rock. Isaish 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
If we keep our focus on Him, especially in the midst of our situations, we can get through anything. Through His promises and through the observance of how he has help us in past situations, our faith should become stronger and stronger each time.

God Bless!

Revelation.....

It was a some what heavy day...but it turned out much better in the end. See some issues had been weighing on me. I woke up this morning and wasn't feeling joyful. When things become too weighted, I have a tendency to kind of shut down....which means I stop talking...But thank God for my spiritual sister....I thank God for her everyday. She has been able to penetrate my wall and I have been able to talk about deep issues and the things that I go through spiritually. She tells me to just breathe and silence my mind.....alot!! I tend to think too much at times.

So today I hit her with a string of questions. About me. (Mind you, I have already questioned God about all this). Trying to figure out why I feel the way I do and what could be causing me to to be having such a hard time with myself. See, there are times when I do not see the things others say they see in me. I keep trying to figure out why I am having such a problem with this. There are problems in our lives that seem to be the catalyst for other things.

She prays for me...it's a wonderful thing to have friends who pray for you.....
I began to listen to a sermon.....why this particular one, I now know, but at the time I didn't..... The sermon title.."Release for the bondage of Rejection"....

Romans 15:7 "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

The preacher says rejection is the most painful emotion there is. Then he goes on to speak about 'self-rejection'
Self-rejection says before I can believe something good about myself, someone that I think is important has to accept me. ( What is supposed to matter most is how God accepts me)
He starts speaking on the characteristic feelings of self-rejection:
1.critical spirit
2.feel inferior
3. spirit of perfectionism (when you have this, you can become a procrastinator...if something is not done perfectly then it doesn't get done at all due to fear of criticism)
4. floating anger and bitterness
5.Easily hurt (the person drives people off) (Most of these he describes, I have been)
Why does this happen? either rejection from parents early in life, in the past someone hurt them very deeply, from divorce.....

As I listen to the preacher say 'in the past someone hurt them very deeply...' something popped into my mind. Something I had never thought of until now. Something I had never really knew I needed to deal with. I was raised with a very strict father. Never dated until after I graduated from high school. I went to live with my mom and started dating this guy. I was still a virgin at the time. Had no intention of having sex or even really thought about it. This guy and I started hanging out alot. I was usually with my sister, her boyfriend, me and my boyfriend. One day we were all at his house. I don't know how things got started, but things started happening. I wasn't happy about it and wanted and told my boyfriend to stop. He didn't and things happened anyway. I can't even tell what thoughts or feelings I had at that time, but I stayed with him for awhile after that day. One day he decides that I need to 'experience the world before becoming serious'.  So basically he took what was precious to me and then dumped me!

Then as life continued, I kept getting rejected. Never being taught the proper way to have a relationship with a guy, what I should allow or not allow. Not having much acceptance. I don't even really know how I got married....that wasn't a good relationship either. I wooed my ex-husband into loving me, but I really wasn't in love with him. It's like I get into a relationship and then do everything I can to make sure they love me only to wind up rejected and hurt. Never receiving the proper love or acceptance.  So I ended up trying to protect myself. I came across alot of unavailable men. Not any who were married...I don't cross those lines. But guys that I eventually find out they are either in a relationship or they are just coming out of one (which is not good either, they still have issues).
Now I get why I am so hard on myself and had issues with accepting myself.....

But I praise God so very much.....He not only shows us the things that don't belong in us, but He also shows us that He loves us and He sees us as worthy. He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. Although what He shows me may hurt, it is so worth it to know that He will help heal me and continue to make me whole. He has something for me to do and the only way I can do it in the best way possible and for His glory is to be cleansed, shaped and molded into His image. I still may have a ways to go, but I thank God I am not as I used to be. I pray for those who have not dealt with or even know what past issues affect their present lives.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

God Bless!

Waiting

I swear there are times when I just want to scream! I dislike with a passion the roller coaster of emotions that flow through me. Why can I not keep a hold of those times when I have that pure Godly joy coursing through my veins? Why? Yes, of course I know that this walk is not going to be easy, but sometimes, I wish there were longer periods of joy than there are of trials and tribulations.

If it's not one thing, it's another. Sometimes an endless barrage of things.......( I guess the enemy is mad at me for laughing at him earlier, for recognizing what he was doing....) There are moments when I can not even speak a word....I try to cling to something, a song, a verse, a 'remember this time'........

What happens when that doesn't seem to do the job? So I pray, sit, and wait......Oh the waiting......there are days when I am so patient I amaze myself......then there are those days where, I look high and low for my patience. It seems to get lost and makes me work so extra hard to find it.......
"Oh where oh where has my patience gone? Oh where oh where can it be?" LOL

Ok God, what are You doing with me now? I wonder if there will ever be a time when He molds me and it will happen so painlessly that I didn't even know it happened. That would be wonderful.....

God Bless!

My help comes from.....

Friday was a tough day. There was some stuff weighing me down. The enemy was pushing and I felt like a boxer who was 'going down for the count!"
It wasn't even big issues. It was small things. But when small things come and many of them come at once from all sides.....it begins to feel like it is huge.

When we keep seeking God and strive to be filled with the Holy Spirit, things are going to come. For me, I try to prepare myself to handle those things that come. But sometimes they come in such unexpected ways, that I get knocked sideways a little. (Remember: " weebles wobble but they don't fall down?"...... yeah that's what I felt like)

 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 ^"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 

Anyway, this morning my devotional was regarding 'The Affliction of Paul' It spoke about how some assume the problems those faced in the bible, are different from the ones we face today....Uhhhh, no. Though the culture in Paul's time was different, some of the issues remain the same...like temptation, hardship, sin.....
The enemy never changes. He will always try to keep us from doing God's will, in any way he can. Paul trusted God. How? Because he saw God have the victory in his trials. When we run out of strength in dealing with our issues, God has that supernatural strength that will see us through. With each and every situation I go through, I am learning more and more to not only lean on Jesus, but trust Him. Not necessarily to make the situation work out the way I want it to, but to give me the strength to deal with it while it's happening and be content in whatever the outcome.

Philippians 4:19^"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

The following was part of the devotional that I wanted to share.....

"God's strength is available to all believers who confess their weakness and inadequacy. Sometimes a troubled soul has only enough stamina left to admit 'Father, I absolutely cannot. If You don't, it is simply not going to happen.' In effect, we throw ourselves upon God and wait for Him to keep His promise" 

God Bless!

A Return to Love.....

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Be Blessed!
Have a truly wonderful weekend!

Being called...

Romans 8:28-31 (NIV)^{" 28}And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

 ³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

It's such a great feeling when you get hit with joy from the Lord. There really is nothing like it and it's something you want to hang onto forever. The other day I was hit with joy at the mere thought that God had me on His radar for a long time. I mentioned this to a very dear friend of mine. I told her how my parents did not have my sister and I grow up in church. My realization was that my foundation was laid by my grandparents. Every summer, when we visited them, they made sure to take us to church. Made sure we were active in church. My fondest memories were of being in the church choir. God flowed through our words and through those who heard our song. Then once the summer was over,  back to our home and no church.

When I look back, I sigh at the fact it took me awhile to accept His call. But with a huge smile, I cherish the fact He chose me. (Matthew 22:14 "For many are called, but few are chosen") A large majority of my family on my father's side, are religious. No doubt to varying degrees, but none the less, I was meant to walk this walk. There are times it can be very rough, but I thank God I have a Father who is patient, kind, loving, and full of mercy and grace.

Thank you Jesus for choosing me, changing me, and equipping me to do Your work. Onward I press!!!! 

Be Blessed!!

Battles

Romans 7:14-25^"14For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. ¹⁵For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. ¹⁶If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. ¹⁷Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. ¹⁸For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. ¹⁹For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. ²⁰Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. ²¹I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. ²²For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: ²³But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. ²⁴O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? ²⁵I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin."

Oh, how I enjoy reading this scripture. I really didn't like it before. It felt like a serious tongue twister. But all of that was because I didn't really comprehend what it was saying. Since God has given me the understanding of it, I could do nothing but agree with it. We all go through spiritual battles. Some days are worse than others, but it's always there. ( ergo the need of dying to self daily)

We were born into sin. Seems like we spend the rest of our lives battling......mind and flesh. Our minds want to follow God and do what's right and our flesh......oh, our flesh just doesn't want to give up.
But thank you Jesus! We have an awesome God who can help us in our battle....without Him we are defenseless. We can conquer nothing. Oh yes, we can make ourselves believe we've overcome. However, it always comes back that we have not truly won. We have sweet victory in Jesus Christ.
Our battles are fought on our knees. So put on the full armor of God:

• the belt of truth
• the breastplate of righteousness
• helmet of salvation
• shield of faith
• sword of the spirit
• sandals of peace

Ephesians 6:13 " ¹³Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

Thank you Jesus! Hallelujah Jesus!!!

Be Blessed!

Idols

Idol:

1. 1.  An image used as an object of worship.
   2. A false god.
2. One that is adored, often blindly or excessively.
3. Something visible but without substance.

I was going to write about this some days ago, yet I was drawn to write about something else. At one point, I had thought an idol was something material. It isn't just material. It's anything that will draw our attention away from God. TV, games, phones, internet, etc.

The funny thing is, we don't even realize how much we make things idols until we actually have a situation that makes us give them up. Then we come to realize how much time we have spent on whatever it was. My idols used to be games and movies. I love to play video games and watch movies. We grew up playing video games with our dad. That was one of our bonding times. We had so much fun together. I remember when I was younger, wanting to go to the mall on the weekends just so I could go to the arcade. Wow! Such memories.

Then the other thing we used to do was watch movies. Of course there were some my dad wouldn't let us watch, but when my sister and I got older, it was a free for all! We watched all kinds of movies. Our favorite movies were scary movies. (that's a whole different blog!) I still like all kinds of movies. Funny ones, drama, black and white, but there are some that I now really can't watch, and I know it is a result of walking with God. But like I say, that is another blog.....

Anyway, not to get off track here, people have all types of idols. Some people's idols are even other people! It's interesting at times when God opens my eyes, what I see. I have to catch myself at times, because when He does open my eyes, it makes me not only look at what I do, but what others do as well. Like wow, these are my idols, but these are their idols. It makes me feel sometimes as if I am about to judge others, but I am always reminded that no one is perfect and that it's just a realization of how we truly do need God in our lives to change us.
To cleanse us, to make us new.

Exodus 20:3-6 " ³Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

 ⁴Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

 ⁵Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

 ⁶And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments" 

Idols can lead to some serious downfalls in our lives. Plus it takes our eyes off of Him. I thank God for what He shows me. Believe me, I still play games and watch movies, but am now more conscious of my time regarding them. God is supposed to come first in our lives. He doesn't want us not to have fun or have unfulfilling lives, He just wants to be first. I am getting so much better at putting Him first, in everything I do. I am not perfect, but I am striving continually to lead the life He has called me to lead. Thank you God!

God Bless!

Letting Go

I had some weight on my shoulders yesterday. So I spent most of my day working, praying, and emailing my friend back and forth. The root of my weight, I know believe, was tied to some people that had been in my life. There was a place I had previously worked. Met a lot of people there. Stayed there only 1 year.
God decided it was time for me to go. But not before He taught me some things.

See I had come across alot of people who did not follow God. Those who did not claim to be Christians. I kind of knew what to expect. There, at the job, I got a glimpse of people who professed to love God and claimed to be Christians. Blew my world apart! This is where I learned "even the devil goes to church". I couldn't understand some of the things that went on with those who were Christians. Some of the behavior I expected of those who were not in the church.

I also, during this time, was really getting to know God. In the end, I understood that those in church had just about as many issues as those out of church. And although some of them strived to become better, some seemed like they only wanted to pretend like they knew Christ. I was not being judgemental by any means, because no of us are perfect. But what I came to understand was that when you are truly walking with God, change will take place in you. You will not be the same. Yes, you may have certain areas that still need to be worked on, but there is change there!

Anyway, my biggest issue was learning how to let people go. Letting things go was no big deal to me, but letting people go was the biggest challenge for me. Even if I knew they were bad for me, I still had difficulty letting go. Through my walk with God, I learned why. There was a deep rooted issue that had not been resolved, that caused me to do this. Spending time alone with God, forces you to look at yourself. Soooo many people do not like doing this. I didn't like doing it but it needed to be done. I learned so many things I really didn't want to know. But once I found them out, I prayed to God to help me fix them and release them.

Since this letting go thing was the biggest issue in my life, it's still a work in progress. God will move people out of your life when He feels they will do you harm. Or He will allow them to stay for just enough time to teach you something. You hope and pray you get the lesson, because if you don't, you'll be repeating it over and over again. There are days when who I let go, the memory will come back. For me it does hurt some. But God does things that He knows is good for you. Many times we think we know what's good for us because we know ourselves. Reality is we 'think' we know ourselves. He knows us better.

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD."

Letting go.....how else can God bring better in for us if we don't learn how to let go?  Tough lesson to learn for me, but I am so happy I have an awesome teacher!

God Bless!

Brokenness

My devotional reading this morning was titled "Draw Near to God". It was interesting because even before I started my devotional, I had just awakened from a bad dream. I was thinking of whatever was of God to get the heaviness of that bad dream off me. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you". Then this scripture came to mind: James 4:7  ^"7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you"

Anyway, this devotional was speaking about how if we open ourselves to God, He will open up to us. That it seems we were the ones who initiated a relationship with God when in fact it was He that first came to us, we were just responding to His call. He does this through sometimes painful and desperate situations. 

So what came to mind was how He called me. It was through a broken relationship that devastated the core of my being. I had never felt pain like this and looking back never want to again. Everyone goes through different kinds of brokenness. I didn't grow up in the church and the only time I did go to church was when my grandparents took me over the summer when we would visit. Little did I know that was the setting up for where I am today. (Thank you Jesus)
It was never that I didn't believe in God, I would go to church here and there, but never was fully into it or a relationship with God. I used to almost always make bad choices concerning relationships. Nothing abusive, just people who turned out to be bad. ( ok, now I realize through God, these people had alot of issues)...

Anyway, this one particular relationship, last 1.5 years. The way it ended was terrible. I felt like I had my heart ripped out of my chest. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I even had a family member give me a sleeping pill to help and it didn't! My cousin, love her to death, told me to open my bible and read it. At this point in my life, it was the first time I had experienced 'depression'. Never, ever, ever do I want to go there again. 

So I opened my bible, but I couldn't even read it. Funny thing is, when I held the bible at my chest, I was able to go to sleep. God is good. He knew what I needed even though I couldn't utter any words to Him. To make a long story really short, He was the reason I came through that period of my life. He was calling me. In the most painful way I could ever imagine. But He called me. It still took me a while to respond the right way, but at this moment in my life, I can not imagine my life without Him. To think of what He pulled me through. I couldn't do it on my own and neither could my family help me. (Not even the short lived therapist I saw could help....so I stopped going to her)

It was nothing but God. To look at a person, you never know what they have been through. What I know is, no matter how painful certain situations have been in my life, I am grateful and thankful God has been there to get me through. Not only that, He has allowed me to be understanding to others when I see them go through things and try to help them and support them. See how can you help someone if you've never experienced something yourself? It doesn't necessarily have to be the same things, but the emotions are there....feeling lost, helpless, hurt, pain,.....

It was all in His plan to bring to me where I am today. Walking with Him, talking with Him, and allowing myself to be used to do His work. 
All I can say is thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus. Without you I am nothing....You are my everything!

God Bless!

Balance

As I was reading my devotional this morning, some thoughts came to me. The devotional was telling the story about Mary and Martha. They had been preparing for Jesus to come. Once He did, Martha continued to prepare things, while Mary stopped and sat at Jesus' feet to listen to Him. That agitated Martha and she mentioned it to Jesus only to be told that Mary had chosen the better way.
Lesson: sometimes we have to leave things undone to fellowship with Jesus. Also when we don't take time to fellowship with Him, it results in some not so good consequences (Martha's worry and agitation)......Now comes what thoughts came into my head.....

This devotional made me think of the time that I was so focused that I became 'so heavenly minded that I was no earthly good'. Because of this, I fell and I fell hard. I felt pretty bad. It didn't help that I had also been hanging around people who were confused about their lives. At times like that, it really pays to have some strong spiritual friends around. I had two people who were and are still like that. I was so hard on myself. I felt like I had completely failed God and went through the pity phase of 'why did You choose me?'....it was awful. But my friends, helped me. They helped me with their encouraging words and with what they had learned from their 'true' relationship with God. I started to get back on the right path.
I found out I needed to have balance. See I knew I needed to focus on God but I also understood I lived here on earth. I needed to still be connected here. Regaining my stability, I understood better that I needed to be changed to be Christ-like, however while that process was taking place, I also needed to be doing His work.

Matthew 28:19-20 ^"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

I had to get it together. Balance. Well, I have more balance now than I thought was possible. My focus is on God, however, I have not shut out the world. Nor am I really in the world...so to speak

Romans 12:2

²And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

This balance thing is a very delicate thing. To me anyway. Teeter too much on one side and there are bad consequences. One thing I know, God will help me balance things as I continue to keep my eyes on Him. 

In the Spirit

What a day! If there was a day that I needed some serious patience, it was today.

If I see anything at this point, God is teaching me patience. For some reason, I have a tendency to draw people with some serious issues to me. I don't ask for it, but they seem to come. God allows me to help some of them through my experience with some of the same issues. However, God also helps me with those whose issues I have never had or dealt with before. I so appreciate God for helping me. Lately, my patience has been wearing very thin for some. To the point I really feel like yelling. That is not good. I looked to God to really help me and of course, He does. 

So I need to understand that it's not about me. These people are around me for a a specific reason. Apparently God feels there is something within me that will mostly help them (and me too). I am supposed to be encouraging others. God has helped me become stronger than I used to be and He was patient and loving to me through it all. Now I need to forget about me and help them with the same strength, patience, and love God showed me. Walk in the spirit girl! Walk in the spirit!

Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law."

God Bless!