Tuesday, May 18, 2010


I swear there are times when I just want to scream! I dislike with a passion the roller coaster of emotions that flow through me. Why can I not keep a hold of those times when I have that pure Godly joy coursing through my veins? Why? Yes, of course I know that this walk is not going to be easy, but sometimes, I wish there were longer periods of joy than there are of trials and tribulations.

If it's not one thing, it's another. Sometimes an endless barrage of things.......( I guess the enemy is mad at me for laughing at him earlier, for recognizing what he was doing....) There are moments when I can not even speak a word....I try to cling to something, a song, a verse, a 'remember this time'........

What happens when that doesn't seem to do the job? So I pray, sit, and wait......Oh the waiting......there are days when I am so patient I amaze myself......then there are those days where, I look high and low for my patience. It seems to get lost and makes me work so extra hard to find it.......
"Oh where oh where has my patience gone? Oh where oh where can it be?" LOL

Ok God, what are You doing with me now? I wonder if there will ever be a time when He molds me and it will happen so painlessly that I didn't even know it happened. That would be wonderful.....

God Bless!

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