Genesis 22:1-3" 1And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.
2And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
3And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.4Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off. 5And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you."
Oh the tests we go through. I was down for a minute because a test came to me and I failed. Straight failed. I know we all fall, but I still have not dealt properly when I fall. I am completely hard on myself, as I have been told, and it makes for some seriously hard days. I repented and God has forgiven me, however I have a hard time forgiving myself. I feel like I have failed God. I was walking His way, focusing on Him, and feeling His joy. There were times when I was able to recognize the enemy, but there are still other areas where my sight on the enemy is fuzzy. I never underestimate what the enemy can do, I just am not as prepared as I would like to be in specific areas. Some tests I don't do well in because I don't let go. This is still a work in progress for me. It is not something that will change overnight due to the fact that it's been like this for a good majority of my life. I can't keep saying 'if only my upbringing was like this' because I can't go back. Everything had a meaning up until this point. If my life had of been different, I wouldn't be at this point. Where would I be? I don't know.
So at this point, all I can do is trust God in revealing things and changing things in me. There are times when this happens that God chooses to put you by yourself. To show you things, to teach you things, to reshape you. In these times you have to sacrifice things. Possessions, people, etc.....which is sometimes hard, especially for those who have trouble letting go. The passage above was the beginning of a test for Abraham. In verse 5, Abraham left his group behind to obey God. (As my pastor said, "sometimes you have to leave things/people behind to worship God. Some people/things can distract your worship)
What I love about that passage, was the fact that Abraham obeyed God without question. Can you imagine how he must have felt to have to go and sacrifice the promise that God had given him? I wonder what thoughts were going through his mind. But all we can see is that he did what he was told. I can't imagine sacrificing my child, but there are other things in our lives that we feel are very important to us that we must sacrifice. It's a test. Of our obedience to God. Do we trust Him to keep His promises? Do we trust that He will give us back even more? We should, because He will. If only we give ourselves over to Him. He will change our whole world around....for our good.