This morning I awoke and cried again. I kind of felt numb today. Trying to pray to God and feeling at the same time "What's the point?" I realize, now, that during this day, when I couldn't pray because I couldn't find the words, a verse in a song would play itself in my head. "God is able to do, just what He said He would do. He's going to fulfill ever promise to you. Don't give up on Him, cause He won't give up on you...He's able!" God knows why He put it there.....
Part of the reason it played was the times where I was so angry, I thought about just giving up. ( I just kept thinking how can people intentionally hurt other people? What would possess them to do such things? key word: possess.....we either give control over to God or over to the enemy)
I went to bible study tonight and I am so glad I did. Being in church, the right church, can be so soothing to the soul. Plus my family was there to also bring God's words to me. I am able to sympathize and have compassion for others, however I have never felt sympathy and compassion to this degree before.
Sometimes, in order to hear God calling us, we have to be torn down. It's necessary in order for us to pay attention to God. To give ourselves to Him and allow Him to mold us and change us and build us back up in His image. The tear downs are never, ever pleasant and there is always a chance that it will cause us go under instead of coming up. However, God knows what is going to happen. He knows which way the tear down will turn us.
Matthew 10:28-30 "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered."
God always knows what He is doing. Even when it is something so unexplainable to us.....He knows.....Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
I pray for God's comfort and healing in this situation. I know He will take care of it all. Because He is a loving, caring, and merciful God. And He cares for us. Thank you Jesus for bringing her home and keeping her alive. Praying she will turn to You for You to provide her with all that she needs...... In Jesus' name I pray...Amen